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Dear Quota Team,

I have a problem, and I’m wondering if there’s anything I can do about it. I joined my current company a little less than a year ago, and overall, it’s been a pretty decent run. Comp plan is solid, and I’m hitting my numbers every quarter.
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But about a month ago, something happened. My manager and I got into an argument which escalated pretty quickly. Basically, he gave me a hard time for losing a deal that (in his opinion) we should’ve won, even though we got beat out on pricing and literally would’ve lost money if we’d tried to discount to match the competitor’s pricing.
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That’s not the real problem though. The real problem is what he said to me when we were arguing. I’ll admit that I should’ve probably just shut my mouth and not tried to defend myself when he was criticizing me, but when the conversation got heated, he said, “You can make excuses if you want, but then you’re just gonna end up like your brother.”
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He was talking about my older brother who can’t hold down a job and has had a drinking problem since college. I had told him (my manager) about my brother when we were talking about our families one day, but I never thought he’d bring it up to me like that.
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We’ve basically moved on since the argument, and he probably thinks everything is back to normal, but I’m still pissed about what he said, and I’m thinking about it on a regular basis. Should I bring it up to him or am I better off just keeping my mouth shut and focusing on work until one of us either gets promoted or leaves the company?
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Bothered in New York  

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Dear Bothered,
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We can see why you’d be bothered by your manager saying something like that. Our personal lives can elicit strong emotions, and they shouldn’t be used to score cheap points or as motivational tools -- which, if we’re being generous, is what your manager might have been trying to do.
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There’s no easy answer here; you can either live with it and move on, or bring it up to your manager and let him know it’s been on your mind. If you do the latter, it’s unlikely he’ll ever do it again, but, depending on how mature he is, it might just create more problems for you. So the question becomes: is it worth it?
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Not all battles are worth fighting, but if you can’t stop thinking about it, you’ll probably feel better after getting it off your chest. Just be ready for the possibility that this will open another can of worms. And, as an aside, this is a perfect example of why so many people feel like they have to keep their personal and professional lives separate. Good luck!