Advice: I got my cousin a sales job at my company, but he's not taking it seriously. What can I do?

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Dear Quota Team, 

I put myself in a complicated situation, and it’s entirely my own fault. I’m an Account Executive at a public software company, and it’s definitely the best sales job I’ve ever had. It took me a while to break into software sales, so I’m super thankful for the opportunity, especially given the crap sales jobs I had to wade through before I got here. 

Here’s the problem: about six months ago, my cousin started asking me to get him a job at my company. He’s definitely a smart guy, but he tends to get himself into trouble. He flunked out of college after partying too much and then bounced around a lot career-wise. He was in the restaurant industry, then started a t-shirt screen-printing business that failed because he didn’t hustle for clients, and then eventually he went into sales. He sold telecom and then worked for a small software development firm but got laid off when the pandemic hit, or at least that’s what he told everyone. 

Anyways, he started asking me to get him in the door here, and he’s super pushy so I had to keep making up excuses. But then, he had his mom ask my mom (they’re sisters) to help him get a job, and then they both ganged up on me and gave me a massive guilt trip. In our culture, family members are supposed to help each other out, so they kept at me, saying that it was my responsibility to lift up my cousin, and that he’d do the same for me. 

Long story short, I finally gave in and (against my judgment) got him in here into a Business Development Rep role. He started a month and a half ago and he’s already called out sick twice, and just seems to be completely disengaged and uninterested in working his way up the way I did. 

Now, not only am I worried that he’s going to lose his job, and our family is going to somehow blame me for it, I'm also stressed that his performance, and the fact that I vouched for him is going to reflect badly on me. I’m serious about working my way up here, and want to get into management, but I feel like I really screwed up trying to make my family happy, and now I’m going to pay the price. What should I do? 

Stressed out in California 

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Dear Stressed,

There’s an old expression that applies here: no good deed goes unpunished. You went against your instincts and it sounds like things are unfolding exactly how you thought they would. There’s some good news though: you seem to have pretty good instincts, if only you’d listened to them. 

We won’t lecture you about how bad of an idea it was to let your family dictate your professional choices. Your mom and aunt are probably good people who meant well. But they don’t work at your company, you do. They don’t understand the landscape, you do. And they don’t have to deal with the professional repercussions, you do. Even if you respect them and take their advice seriously, you still have veto power, and you shouldn’t be afraid to use it. 

As far as this decision reflecting badly on you, the first thing you need to remember is that it’s already done. You got your cousin the job and there’s nothing you can do to change that. The best thing you can do now is the same thing that will get you ahead in your career: stay laser focused on your own responsibilities and excel at your job, becoming the best version of you that you can be (it sounds corny but it’s true!)

You can try to help your cousin step it up at work, but judging by the sound of it, he’s not even willing to help himself. Some people take longer than others to take their professional lives seriously, and others never do at all. If he has no interest in this role, then you’ll both probably be relieved when he ultimately quits or gets fired. And as long as you’re staying focused and hitting and exceeding your sales goals, this should only be a small blip in an otherwise promising career. Good luck! 

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