Advice: "My wife hates that I work so many hours, but my job is supporting our family"

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Dear Quota Team

Not sure if this is something you could help me with, but I thought I'd give it a shot. I've worked in sales for the last 10 years making pretty good money, more than I ever thought I'd make growing up. I got married and started a family right when I started my sales career. I started a new job recently. It's been a great pay bump, but I'm working like a crazy person trying to keep up, and have to spend a lot of nights and weekends taking clients out.

My wife has been getting on me recently for not spending enough time with her and the kids. I'm often not home for dinner and I rarely get to make it to my kid's basketball games on weekday evenings. She gets upset that I spend so much time working, but I'm only working so hard to provide a better life for us. I've talked to her about this of course, but she still gets angry with me when I'm always working. There's just so much pressure for me to keep working and making as much money as I can. 

We're saving for college funds and I just bought her a brand new SUV she's been wanting for over a year. We're spending money so fast, and I keep feeling the pressure to keep working more and more, but it's really starting to take a toll on my family life. What can I do?

Busy in Texas 


Dear Busy,

As you know, working in sales is often not a regular 9-5 job. Those of us who commit to sales as a career have to deal with the ups and downs and oftentimes work unconventional hours. It's not for everyone, but it sounds like you've been able to make a good career and life for yourself, and are doing it for the right reasons.

Relationships are never black and white, and, of course, everyone is different. This is really a conversation you need to have with your wife. You need to lay out the possible scenarios. You can keep going with the current situation that seems to be taking you away from your family, (but is providing them with a comfortable lifestyle), or you can work less hours and be ready to take a pay cut to spend more time with your family.

It really comes down to having a candid conversation with your partner so you can make a decision (together) that works for the both of you. Just be ready to compromise. Best of luck!

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