Each week, we bring you the most cringe-worthy sales moments from across the web. To submit your sales fail story for consideration, click here. (Don't worry, you'll remain completely anonymous).
I woke up the morning of a big signing for a first-time homebuyer who had been waiting weeks to close. I wasn't feeling great, my seasonal allergies were acting up, but I tried to power through. After they arrived at the house, we sat down at the kitchen table, and I started walking them through the documents. Everything was going smoothly until they had a question about the disclosure section.
I leaned in close, pointing at the specific paragraph they needed to initial. Right as they started writing their name, I felt it coming. I didn't even have time to turn my head or get my hand up. I just exploded. A full, wet, uncontrollable sneeze directly onto the contract. And their hand. The pen still touching the paper. I watched a small droplet slide down the side of their knuckle.
They looked up at me so slowly, their expression somewhere between disgust and disbelief. Their hand didn't move. The pen didn't move. We just stared at each other for what felt like an eternity.
I started apologizing profusely, fumbling through my briefcase for the backup contract I always keep. My hands were shaking as I pulled it out and placed it in front of them. They carefully set down their wet pen, grabbed a tissue from the box on the table, and wiped their hand without saying a word.
The signing continued in painful silence. They signed everything, we shook hands (after I thoroughly sanitized mine), and the deal closed. But I've never felt more mortified in my entire career.
Anonymous Location Withheld
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I sell marketing software to small businesses and had been courting this boutique agency owner for two months. She finally agreed to meet at a coffee shop downtown to talk details.
The meeting went great. She loved the demo, asked all the right questions, and even mentioned her budget unprompted. I was feeling confident.
When we finished, I stood up and extended my hand across the table for a closing handshake. At the exact same moment, she reached down to grab her purse from under her chair.
My hand just hung there in the air while she bent down. I froze, not knowing whether to hold it there or pull back. She swung back up so quickly I didn’t have time to react, and my hand ended up hitting her in the face.
She let out an audible “oh!” and I ripped my hand back and started apologizing.
She laughed nervously while rubbing her head and said it was fine and that we’d follow up for next steps over email. She signed with us two weeks later and is still a customer, but every time we’re on a call, I think about that moment and shudder.
Anonymous Location Withheld
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I was working as a beverage sales rep for the second largest cola producer in the United States. My vertical was gas stations, liquor stores, and small independent grocers.
After doing my usual restocking of shelves, counting the product, creating an order, and planning what deals to sell to the owner in a carniceria, I couldn't find the guy. I finally spotted the assistant manager, who was the owner's younger brother.
"Hey, where's Raul?” I said. “I need to run this order past him." He slowly turned around with a blank expression on his face.
"Did he see me pull in and decide to make a run for it so he wouldn't have to place an order with me today?" I said, chuckling as I said it.
"No,” the assistant manager said. “Raul died two days ago. I don't think we need anything from you anymore."
Anonymous Location Withheld
